Home MLB Out of Left Field: ‘Rojo’ Johnson for a Cy Young!

Out of Left Field: ‘Rojo’ Johnson for a Cy Young!

by Steve Keene

MlbHlSqThe writers here at BaseballGB are a friendly bunch and a giving breed. Just take our very own fantasy baseball expert, Mark George. He was kind enough to pass on a link to a video showing the latest pitching sensation, Billy Ray ‘Rojo’ Johnson. Rojo is clearly a man’s man, with a fine moustache. He is also not afraid to take a tasty beverage or two to the mound. This, I applaud.

After seeing his stuff, even in just this very small clip, I would not hesitate to nominate Rojo for a Cy Young award. In the unlikely event that they ask me, of course. I mean, its easy to get caught up on win-loss records and ERA and all that nonsense, but ‘Rojo’ Johnson has got something else, something that evades simple description. Which is why you should all check him out, right now (or at least when you’ve finished this column, eh?). And may I state right now, any resemblance ‘Rojo’ Johnson has to Will Ferrell is purely coincidental, I can assure you.

Some players are keen to help me out with a story too. Just take Ken Griffey Jr, who decided to fall asleep on the job (I guess I should add an allegedly right here, for legal purposes and to feel like some wry ol’ pundit on a current affairs quiz show or something). Baseball’s media got its collective knickers in a twist over the event, with the report suggesting Griffey missed a pinch-hit opportunity as he was out for the count in the clubhouse. Let’s be fair here. Griffey isn’t so junior anymore. When you get older you need to nap. It’s a proven scientific fact. And I’ll tell my boss that the next time I’m passed out on my keyboard at work.

Thinking of moving home? Thinking of starting a new life? Having a mid-life crisis? Massive fan of Kevin Costner? Then I have just the thing for you. The site of the film Field of Dreams is up for sale. Pretty cool, eh? But it does feels a little like cheating to me, buying the ‘dream’off the peg, so to speak. If you want to do this properly, you should really start from scratch, with all the financial and emotional worries that accompany it. You should probably rope in the help of James Earl Jones too. In fact, unless you start hearing voices and having a near breakdown, all in a hair-brained bid to build a complete folly, it doesn’t really count in my book. Costner did it properly. You should too.

But whatever you do, and no matter how crazy things get, don’t become this guy.

Or don’t get as excited as I did my the headline ‘Loss doesn’t deter Madonna baseball hopes‘. What a disappointment that was, finding out the story was all about some university team, rather than the iconic singer making yet another idiosyncratic career decision.

And finally, Positive Spin Public Relations Corner! This week, Dave Howard, Mets Executive Vice President for Business Operations, on the litter problem at Citi Field:

“It’s sort of good now that there is debris to be blown out there. It shows people are spending some money and buying food and drink and enjoying themselves.”

We need more of that kind of positive thinking in baseball. ‘He may have struck out, but that just shows he has a lovely swing’. ‘Blown save? We like to think of it more as giving the fans extra innings, at no extra cost’. I do fear such optimism from a member of the Mets organisation, though. It’s bound to end in tears, isn’t it? In the meantime, as a Mets fan, I’d love to hear Howard’s take on Oliver Perez. I really would.

Well, in the words of those cartoon guys, that’s all folks. As always, I’d love to hear your comments, or hear about any funny stories you’ve come across this week. You can get in touch with me via the box below, or on twitter, or by visiting my dusty little corner of the web. See you next week.

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