600 Fun News Items That Aren’t About A-Rod Getting 600 Home Runs

Now, I’m not saying someone reaching 600 home runs in their career isn’t impressive. I’m not saying it isn’t newsworthy. I’m not saying that it is not worthy of comment. But here in the Out of Left Field offices we have more important things to worry about.

So, in time-honoured, lazy as hell fashion here is a list of other stuff that is more interesting to us (when I say “us”, I mean “me”, oh, and that talk about an Out of Left Field office was rubbish too, of course, and this interlude is really ruining this sentence) than some guy who may or may not have had some chemical assistance hitting a ball, lots of times. I’m not opening that particular can of worms. No sir. Not when we’ve got all this fun to look at. With our very own eyes. Right now, in easy to understand, numbered form.

1. The Washington Nationals are all about public art, with a proposal of a giant “theoretical model of the trajectory of a curving fast-ball pitch”. It looks like a load of balls to me. Boom tish. Yes, I am here all week.
2. Joe DiMaggio showed a “defective attitude toward the service” and a “conscious attitude of hostility and resistance” in the US Army, despite being given a cushy post, seeing no combat and not having to go overseas. He would, of course, after the war go on to marry Marilyn Monroe. Where is the justice in this world?
3. The Tampa Bay Rays are not the most hygienic bunch. Your beer may well be served in a plastic cup that was used the day before. I’m all for recycling but that is just a bit…eww.
4. A Jerry Garcia Tribute Night is being held by the San Francisco Giants. Yet Tim Lincecum is not the starting pitcher. This is a missed opportunity.
5. Kyle Lohse bought the Cardinals’ Double-A side a new ping-pong table. What a nice guy. It does make me think “Double-A Clubhouse” and “Youth Club” may be interchangeable terms though.
6. Tampa wish they didn’t have a roof.
7. Ken Burns is filming another ‘inning’ of his documentary series on baseball. Now, where can I find the first nine?
8. Inside the park home run! Yay!
9. The Australian Baseball League! Bonza!
10. OK, maybe I was pushing it saying there would be 600 news items.
11. I mean, there is only so much that goes on in one week, right?
12. Have you seen anything fun this week? That would help?
13. Well, we’re up to 13 now. Kind of.
14. Will this do?
15. See you next week!