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Out of Left Field: Double Fantasy

by Steve Keene

MlbHlSqAs the wait for Opening Day gets ever more interminable there’s really been only one event on the lips of every intelligent baseball fan. Yes, that’s right, everyone has been talking about the 2010 BaseballGB fantasy draft. As the shockwaves still reverberate from last’s week’s events, many people are asking themselves “Who should I support this year?”

Well, the simple answer is to be on the side of truth, love and justice and get behind your loyal correspondent’s almighty team, the Pretzel Vendors. You’ll be wowed by the power, stunned by the speed and frankly underwhelmed by the pitching staff. And while in no position to divulge all my deepest, darkest managing secrets, I thought I would allow you, my loyal readers, a sneak peek behind the Vendors’ curtain.

So, get yourself some snacks and maybe a tasty beverage, get comfy and settle down to an exclusive question, and indeed, answer session with your new favourite fantasy baseball manager.

Hi Steve, how’s tricks?

Not bad, thank you. Although I must admit it does feel a little odd interviewing myself.


Well, not that odd, I guess. You see, many a time I have binged on Championship Manager/Football Manager and found myself conducting a post-match press conference in my kitchen.

So, how have you found the transition from being the manager of one sport to another?

Oh, not too bad. Generally it’s all about killing time staring at a screen full of stats, isn’t it? And I’m pretty sure the talking to myself in the kitchen will continue.

I suppose this sort of thing can take over your life?

It certainly can. And those pesky baseballers don’t help, with their insistence on playing each and every day. There’s no let up for a manager is there? In fact, it is far too easy to get obsessive.

How so?

Well, take my team’s name, the Pretzel Vendors. First, I was just stuck for a name. I thought back to catching the Mets at Shea Stadium, and how what really, reallyimpressed me was the fact that there were men employed purely to bring food and drink to me at my seat. The team was named in their honour. But it didn’t stop there. Oh no. Before I knew it, I imagined that Pretzel was so much more than a bread-based snack.

Oh yes, in my mind Pretzel was now a German immigrant town in the Mid West, with the Vendors as its long-established and long-suffering team. I was creating a whole backstory for the team and the town, right up to me being appointed as their plucky new manager. I’m determined not to let the good people of Pretzel down. They’ve been through so much.


It’s doesn’t stop there.

Oh dear.

No, now I have all of my drafted players wandering around my head in some sort of cerebral spring training.

Sounds painful.

There’s my star players taking hitting practice, admiring each others swings. There, in the corner, are my pitching staff, grumbling that they don’t get enough attention or credit, while also fearful that I might bring in a new pitching ace. There’s by bench players, constantly glancing in my direction, eager to impress.

I guess you get attached to players.

Of course, I can’t help it. That was the one blessing of me missing the draft and relying on my pre-draft settings. It stopped sentiment getting in the way. I’ve still got a couple of old friendly faces on board from my 2009 MLB fantasy team. That’s reassuring. They’ll let the other guys know I’m not so bad.

You’re just a little crazy, aren’t you?

Maybe. But then you need to be a little crazy to take on this job, don’t you think? And I’m not the one talking to myself, am I?


What? Why are you looking at me funny?

I’m going now. Bye.


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